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Finding a Therapist as an Adoptee in the UK : Key Considerations

Writer's picture: Lynn EarnshawLynn Earnshaw


An illustration of a large directory, symbolising an extensive collection of information.
An illustration of a large directory, symbolising an extensive collection of information.

Being an adoptee comes with a unique set of experiences and navigating life as someone who was adopted can present emotional and psychological challenges that are distinct from those faced by non-adopted individuals. Therapy can be a powerful way to understand yourself, heal from trauma, and foster better mental health.

It is essential that your therapist understands the significance of the developmental trauma resulting from relinquishment.


In the UK, there are many therapists available, but finding the right one to support you in your adoption journey requires careful thought. It’s important to understand what you're looking for in a therapist and what qualities or qualifications they should have to provide effective support.


Clarify Your Reasons for Seeking Therapy

Before you begin your search, take some time to reflect on why you’re seeking therapy. Therapy for adoptees can address a wide range of issues, and knowing what you want to focus on can help you find a therapist who is best equipped to support you.

You may also want to think about whether you are looking for a solution-focussed therapist to target specific concerns which tends to be shorter term work or a less directive approach allowing you to be more open and explore things more deeply.


Look for Specialisation

Adoption is a complex issue, and not all therapists are familiar with the specific emotional, social, and psychological challenges adoptees face. It’s important to find a therapist who understands adoption dynamics and has had appropriate training in this area. Lived experience can also be incredibly valuable.


Therapists who specialise in adoption support will have a nuanced understanding of the emotional layers involved in adoption and will be better equipped to guide you through the challenges you might face.


A Safe, Non-Judgmental Space

One of the most important factors in choosing a therapist is how comfortable you feel with them. Therapy is a deeply personal and vulnerable experience, and you need to feel safe, supported, and understood. Being in relationship can be difficult for adoptees but trusting in a good therapeutic relationship can be amazingly healing.


Here are some things to consider when assessing whether a therapist provides the right environment:

  • Empathy and understanding: The therapist should approach you with warmth and empathy, respecting and validating your unique experiences as an adoptee.

  • Cultural sensitivity: Adoptees from different backgrounds may have unique experiences related to race, ethnicity, or culture. A good therapist should have cultural competence and be respectful of your identity.

  • Non-judgmental attitude: A therapist should create a space where you feel free to express yourself without fear of judgment. They should listen actively and validate your feelings, even if those feelings are complicated or conflicted.


Trust your instincts—if you feel that a therapist doesn’t truly understand you or makes you uncomfortable, it’s okay to seek someone else. Remember you have a choice and a voice and you deserve to be heard.


Qualifications and Professional Standards

In the UK, there is currently no regulation for therapists. To provide some reassurance you can look for therapists who are members of a professional body, such as BACP, UKCP, NCPS. These organisations ensure that therapists adhere to professional and ethical guidelines, undergo continuous training, and maintain up-to-date knowledge in their field. However, a therapist may not be a member of an organisation but could still be appropriately qualified.


Adoption is not something covered by general therapy training so additional training in this area could be beneficial.


It’s okay to ask a therapist about their qualifications if you are unsure or it isn’t clear from available information.


Consider Practical Aspects

While finding the right therapist is about more than just logistics, there are practical considerations that can affect your experience.

Some factors to keep in mind:

  • Location and availability: Do you prefer face-to-face therapy, or would you be open to virtual sessions? Many therapists in the UK now offer online sessions, which can make it easier to find someone who meets your needs regardless of location. Make sure to check the therapist’s availability and whether their schedule works for you.

  • Cost: Therapy can be expensive, and while NHS services may be available, there are often long waiting lists. Private therapy is an option, but it's important to understand the fees upfront. Some therapists offer sliding scale rates based on your financial situation, so it’s worth inquiring about this if cost is a concern.

  • Session frequency and duration: Ask about the structure of therapy sessions. Some adoptees find that they need more frequent sessions in the beginning, while others prefer a less intensive approach.


Recommendations and Referrals

Getting recommendations from others who have had therapy or from trusted organisations can be invaluable.

Consider reaching out to:

  • Adoption support groups: Online communities and local adoption support groups may be able to recommend therapists with experience in adoption.

  • Adoption charities: Organisations like Adoption UK or PAC-UK may be able to provide resources or referrals to therapists who specialise in adoption-related issues.

  • Your GP or local mental health service: While waiting lists for NHS therapists can be long, your GP may be able to refer you to someone experienced in adoption support.


Some therapists provide reviews or testimonials from past clients which might give you a sense of how the therapist works and whether they are a good fit for your needs.


Final Thoughts

Seeking therapy as an adoptee can be a transformative experience. The right therapist can help you process your emotions, develop a stronger sense of identity, and work through any trauma or relational difficulties you might be experiencing. Take the time to find someone who understands the complexities of adoption and who creates a safe, supportive space for you to heal and grow. Find a therapist that speaks to your heart.


If you feel that therapy could benefit you, don’t hesitate to take the first step in finding a therapist who truly understands your unique experience.


You can contact me for a no obligation introductory call to see if I might be the right therapist for you.

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